So, this week I decided to do a reboot of the WW system. I mean I've been trying to track a little everyday. I know my arch nemesis lol. I even realized how little veggies I've actually been eating from my tracking I know genius that WW lol. One step at a time. But anywho, like I said in my last blog I just finished up writing this awesome piece based around the notion of BELIEVING I was ugly.
So, I'm eating my breakfast (honey oat Cheerios, 8 ozs whole milk (that's all I could get!), coffee, and a banana) and I hear two coworkers talking about their weight loss journeys. Mind you, they both have given birth within the last year but they've lost a TON of the birth gain weight. So, at first I was like "Wow you're complaining because you only got 29 or 19 points lol, big fuckin whoop since you're already small." Then I immediately was like it's not easy for ANYBODY to change. I mean look how long I've been at it lol.
But then I was like, both of them are married with attractive husbands, both have two kids, good jobs and yet they are still unhappy with themselves. One woman's pants are so baggy from weight loss she has saggy ass and she's what 5'8 or 5'9 and slender. The other is shorter maybe 5'5 or 5'6 but she is also not heavy or obese. And I'm not saying that WW is only for obese people but, it got me to wondering if balancing one's vanity (what we see in the mirror vs. society) and one's sanity (or self worth and confidence) is truly a sliding scale? I think so often we "just want to be happy". Like once we do all these changes to our bodies in specific we'll finally "be happy" but then we may find something else we want to change and despite everything we've accomplished we go right back in the negative self worth cycle.
Okay maybe I'm being suuuuuper psuedointellectual but I think there's something to be said about women who don't TRULY check out I guess with themselves. I know some minority women who know when it's starts getting warm it's time to "get it right and tight" for summer. They gots be able to fit in the booty shorts somehow lol. But what about those who never check back out? Like I guess, though my co-workers are smaller and seemingly have it all, if they are "checked in" all the time to changing themselves and never check out just to be happy for a while...then I feel sorry for them. Mark this day....I never thought I'd have anything in common with a self conscious skinny girl lol.
But real talk, that trip to the movies changed my life. I simply will not live my life "checked in" to what may be a real need to change when I know given our visually over stimulated society it can sometimes just be vanity run amok. Wow...didn't think I'd pop out that kinda blog after not blogging for so long lol.
Pheelin Psuedointellecutally Stimulated (lol),
Earl
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