Are we attracted to that which is most like us?

So, with my new found confidence I decided to give online dating a try and it is becoming alarmingly clear that black women are getting short ass mammie end of the stick!  Like VERY few men who will date out of their race will date a black woman (regardless of how educated and non-dramafied she is lol)....but women of any race are much more likely to be attracted to a BLACK man.  I'm sure the big schlong myth has a lot to do with it lol.  But I think all the She-nay nay jokes of the 90's and the "ghetto ready to fight black girl" sterotype on EVERY reality tv show has pegged black women as too "dramafied"....or is it something else?

I'm mentioning this here because I'm trying not to play the race card on this dating thing.  Like real talk...this is one of those truly contreversial blogs that I'd normally never post but I'm curious enough to put these ideas into the ether lol....

I realized that my "dating" delimma may be due to something that I have not been willing to believe because I'm trying to think outside the box and not live in the past but........ I'm starting to think that that old addage that "we are attracted to that which is most like us" might be true.  Only problem is I'm attracted to that which is my exact opposite almost lol.  I mean so far on the dating site all my emails of interest have been from black men, who I'm not generally attracted to.  And let me just quantify that statement before everyone flips out...I've seen A LOT of dirt done by black men that simply put doesn't make me want to trust them.  And I know all men do dirt, but black men are of a different breed.  They will sleep with a man get HIV and bring it back home and say NOTHING to his wife/girlfriend.  He will impregnante multiple women at once with no intentions of taking care of any of them.  A black man will get caught in bed with another woman and have the dam audacityt o tell his girlfriend "it wasn't me" like her ass is blind! It's sad really....because it makes me feel like I'm being racist...BUT at the same time these are the same men who when in conversation will call me  "stuck up" because I talk with proper english (when I'm not swearing like a sailor) or "bouegois" when I suggest a Thai restaurant instead of mainstream italian.  Unfortunately I learned a long time ago to not apoligize for being who I am.  I love a challenge, trying new things, and considerting I have a Bachlor's degree in English I better talk with proper english considering all the dam money I spent to get my degree lol.

If it helps, I do find found myself attracted to lots of black men....unfortunately these are the same black men who will only date white women lol.  I mean what is up with that?  Even my white girlfriend K, was like "I don't usually go for black guys because they just assume I'm stupid and easy".  Dudes that was verbatim so even the white girls are like WTF lol?  I think what it is *PISSY ALERT...meaning I will probably piss a lot of people off with the next comment lol*, is that when you are a minority MAN and you date a white woman you get socially  "accepted" by the white culture by associuation. The more you date her the more you are ushered into a world where no one is going to immeadiately think you a gang banger, people are more likely to trust you than clutch their purse as you walk past them on the EL, and in general you will go and do things that the average minority women either isn't into or would never think of because she's "not exposed" enough.  So, now they (some black men) think like why date someone "small minded" in my own race when I can go for the golden apple of dates....the blond haired, blue eyed, educated, tanned beauty? Add in that she's probably is so unware of my culture that I can get away with more as long as I'm sexually adventurous in bed. I don't see why more people aren't surprised that minority women are getting the short ass "mammie" side of the stick? Yeah I went there cause that's whow we're (black women) treated---like loud, houseshoe wearing, chicken frying, always ready to fight IDIOTS (thank you real housewives of atlanta)...

And maybe I'm full of shit but I feel like I'm being pegged as a certain kind of black woman based on much more than just the color of my skin.  Even if men can look past or enjoy my phabulous phannie (my plus sized body...hence why this made it on this blog lol), I still have to deal with this race thing. This is a problem because I'm attracted to that which is the EXACT opposite of me lol....

1.  Generally Latino or White
2.  Over 6'0 tall
3.  Educated but with down home morals
4.  Into all kinds of music including r&b and some hip hop
5.  Likes to dance
6.  Willing to try new things

But if we factor in the "that which is like us" factor, I guess I should be looking for guys that are...

1. Black or Latino
2. 5'8 or taller
3. Educated but with down home morals

4. Into all kinds of music including pop, rock, and r&b

5. Likes to dance

But that's such a simple model...the reality of that is much more different as again, every black or latino man I've ever met or seen in action that fit that criteria was NOT looking at me or any black women for that matter.

Now if I posted this on my facebook everyone would be in dam uproar saying I'm racist, or I'm being too easy on myself by playing the race card as a reason for my ineptness at dating when really, if people would think and be real talk about the subject they'll see that..there is at least some truth to what I'm saying. Hell look at every black/mixed race professional althete....;)....and I rest my case....

Pondering Phate,

Earl