I guess I'm the fourth Chippette lol...

I've been battling what I thought were seriously infected ear drums since right after July 4th. Today I went the ENT (Ear, Nose, and Throat) and to my wonderful surprise got to have a camera rammed up my nose at 7:30am :). Come to find out, my ears are fine. So, are my seasonally fickle sinuses. Too bad my salivary glands are infected lol.  I know you're probably asking the first thing that shot out of my mouth "And how did I infect those?". Apparently it could be dehydration (doubt it with all the water I've been guzzling) or it could be viral. Now the second sounds more likely. When my allergies are acting up I always get the viral crap. He couldn't tell if it was bacterial though because I've been on predinosone which I guess throws things off. Regardless...

Dispite my chipmunk cheeks of various sizes (it comes and goes)...I've felt very empowered. It helped that Carlos and I emailed a bit about my whole "revelation" I had about me being a coward. He was very cool about it, and would still take me up on my offer for dinner if he came to town ;). During which, I would try every cheap trick to get in his pants....or better yet...rip his clothes off with my teeth lol. Yes, I have felt pleasantly empowered this week.



Tuesday's Look...
the freshly washed Curly blow out!



Despite the chipmunk cheeks...in an attempts to welcome the Diva back I've started styling my hair everyday. My braids needed to be redone and I wanted togiv emy hair some extended rest time so I've been rockin my natural for a few days. I went on Youtube...a god send to how-to-ers---and have found many black women who've made tutorials on how to work with natural hair. As such, I have worn not one but three styles in three days. I think that's why I went to the braids and half wigs. At first it was just to hide my short hair. Then it was so cute and hassle free I just kept the look. But 2 years later I was getting bored with it, and I feel like my hair had stopped growing so I've let my hair run wild lol.  Plus I have to wait till right before my vacay to get my braids back.  I've been enjoying this so much I am SERIOUSLY thinking of going natural "full time" in the fall...okay where am I going with this lol...

Basically, it brought me back to when I actually spent time primping in the mirror lol. I realized this week that I've missed my girlie time. As an adult I still don't have a ton time to primp but that doesn't mean I need to eliminate it! I have realized in the past few weeks, the few girlie self-primping loving things I used to do for myself I no longer do and I think it has definitely cost me in terms of my self esteem. I mean we all feel better when we know we look like a million bucks. I guess when I was younger I equated looking like a million bucks with taking tons of time so I started cutting out my footbaths and manicures. I got my hair in a cute but utilitarian style. Now, I'm excited at the challenge of finding ways to do those little girlie things for myself even on days where I'm wearing this stupid uniform lol. Like today I added my cuff but actually matched my earrings (yellow) to this horrible green and yellow shirt. I did my side pouff look on my hair which once I understood what products I needed and for what goes really fast in the morning. And I'm going to throw some makeup on at some point.



You can't tell me I'd didn't lok cute Wednesday!
This is my side puff...
still workingon mastering it lol.

 One of the guys upstairs is convinced I have a new man. Finally I was like "And what if I do?" It's funny how people think you must be trying to impress someone when you start dressing nicely or you wear some makeup. No....I'm dressing better because I feel better when my toes are painted, when I have on an anklet, when I have on earrings and my hair is in a new style....nothing that takes a ton of time. But those few things are ways I see now that I NEED not want but NEED so that I can insure I'm getting that "loving kindness" to myself/mind/body every day or week.

Being nice to oneself is a fulltime job just like earning money to put gas in my car (currently $3.99 a gallon!), or juggling two jobs and rehearsals. I mean if I can do all that I can certainly find time to paint my "short toes" as my sister calls them. It also scared the hell out of me that I thought I was maybe turning into one of those women who are unhappy with their looks but never do anything for themselves. I mean people mature and life throws us tons of curve balls but I'm not going out like that! I want to live my life confident and free to do what I want (within reason lol). Not saying things like "why bother?", or "that's a waste of time" because those are lies that cover up unhappiness. At least for me. And no a manicure won't solve my problems, but if my problems or stress is centered around my self esteem it may help A LOT lol...okay I better go!



Pheelin Free :),

Earl