Right behind her was Amy Adam's blue sequined fantasticness.. though I must note that I was NOT a fan of the big non-matching gaudy jewelry craze that every stylist thought was okay! 
Okay enough post Oscar's coverage....
Monday, February 28, 2011
Post Oscar's Thoughts....
Well besides not watching the Oscar's alone (watched it with my Bareboned Theatre Peeps) and actually attending a get together the highlights of the Oscar's were James Franco being STONED OUT OF HIS MIND, Anne Hathaway's musical tribute to Hugh Jackman, and Helena Bonham Carter...because she's friggin Helena Bohnam Carter lol. But afterwards like a sappy actor I did the one thing NO actor will admit to...I practiced my Oscar speech on the way home. Yeah, I realized the easiest way to make me cry ....imagine I'm winning an Oscar LOLOLOLOL. But one the reals, this is one reason I don't really like watching the Oscars, or figure skating, or dance movies, or anything performance based because I get so upset that can't get on stage an do it myself. It's maddening! So, besides wanting realllll bad to be at the Oscar's or an Oscar winning movie, or a major motion film where I actually speak lol, I was of course enraptured by all the fashion...I will skip over Jhud's dress because we all know my so unwarranted jealous hate-on I have an analysis of her dress will be layered with all that crap....but then she'd really be no worse than everyone else whose razor sharp collar bones I talk about incessantly lol. Speaking of... Got super depressed when I saw Natalie Portman. Super gorgeous pregnant or not, AND...she still can wear Jimmy Choo's and have visible collar bones while pregnant...dude NOT FAIR lol! What else, (still trying hard not to talk about Jhud), well I guess I can sum it up like this...everyone looked gorgeous, hungry, and pained (some of those dressed just did NOT look comfortable..pretty but not comfortable lol). So, in an effort to not talk about all of these women's bodies (especially JHud) I will talk about the MEN! Hugh Jackman lookin old...I need those Wolverine locks back! Robert Downey Jr. ....nothing like a lil crazy (which I find hot) wound up into a nicely tuxedoed package. Hmm what else...I will not discuss women's fashion though I REALLY want to because I realize it's really just an analysis of their bodies and since they get enough of that shit everyday I don't want to add to it....but I will say....best dress of the nite...and everyone will forget this one but...Mandy Moore's Blue performance dress....LOVED IT! That is an OSCAR'S DRESS! Right behind her was Amy Adam's blue sequined fantasticness.. though I must note that I was NOT a fan of the big non-matching gaudy jewelry craze that every stylist thought was okay! Okay enough post Oscar's coverage....
Right behind her was Amy Adam's blue sequined fantasticness.. though I must note that I was NOT a fan of the big non-matching gaudy jewelry craze that every stylist thought was okay! Okay enough post Oscar's coverage....
Friday, February 25, 2011
Portions Challenge
I hope to watch my portions when eating out this entire weekend (this includes dinner at Grannie's and the Oscar Party I'm supposed to go to).
Well the update is that I didn't do horrible. I ate a small portion at my Grandmothers.....after I'd eaten a large portion of Chinese at home. So I was full. Then I went to an Oscar's party and had two tacos and nibbled on chips and veggies but that was later. In general I felt really full and kind of uncomfortable all evening. Yeah someone has to learn to say NO! lol. I did however, drink like 4 glasses of water Sunday. I was so full I was like I just want to stay refreshed so kudos to me realizing I felt full and to stick to the water...
It actually felt good to pee cause I feel my food moving down!
Well the update is that I didn't do horrible. I ate a small portion at my Grandmothers.....after I'd eaten a large portion of Chinese at home. So I was full. Then I went to an Oscar's party and had two tacos and nibbled on chips and veggies but that was later. In general I felt really full and kind of uncomfortable all evening. Yeah someone has to learn to say NO! lol. I did however, drink like 4 glasses of water Sunday. I was so full I was like I just want to stay refreshed so kudos to me realizing I felt full and to stick to the water...
It actually felt good to pee cause I feel my food moving down!
Stretching Challenge for This Weekend
I hope to do 20 minutes of stretching sometime this weekend...
Well I actually did like 15 minutes of stretching with my very non flexible nephew on Saturday (who ironically wants to learn how to do a split...yeah someone's watched waaaaayyyy to much Usher) then we stretched again for like 10 minutes on Sunday. So, big ups to the nephew for totally reminding me of my challenge! I love that little runt....
Well I actually did like 15 minutes of stretching with my very non flexible nephew on Saturday (who ironically wants to learn how to do a split...yeah someone's watched waaaaayyyy to much Usher) then we stretched again for like 10 minutes on Sunday. So, big ups to the nephew for totally reminding me of my challenge! I love that little runt....
Real Talk Accesssment...
Okay let's break this down...I need to be losing more weight and though I'm eating okay watching my portions and trying to make good choices...I'm still honestly half assing this. I'm not journaling on the weekends, I'm not drinking water after 5pm....Okay I'm going to brainstorm here... 
Okay since I clearly CANNOT attack all of these things at once...I am going to try to wok on one a day. Since I know I never journal on the weekend I'm not going to do that one. That's just asking for failure. I will try to work on the Stretching on Sat and My Portions when eating out since I know that's probably gonna happen. I think these two are doable and as bummed as I am over today's eating I can't let this discourage me. I'm gonna have many more (hopefully not too many more) days where I eat all my points b4 dinner. That's why I have the extra points. As well, I had a thought for a moment of "Why even try. Just admit you're going to need to get the lap band". Yeah had that thought during lunch and yeah....it was a bad day but I'm not ready to go there yet! I am in this thing till July...and that's real talk!
Phabulously Phrustrated,
E
Challenge!
So, why did I have a co-worker today try and challenge my WW prowess? We are ordering Mexican and I ordered 1 chicken, 1 steak, and 1 veggie taco. And she tried to tell me that was more than a chicken burrito from La Cebollita. That is was only 7 points according to online. See what she does is point it online as the generic entry, "Chicken and Cheese Burrito", rather than point each item separately. Because come on a commercially prepared burrito is going to be different than something that is made fresh. And furthermore what 's in that commercially prepared burrito? Did she count the extra large flour burrito shell that's 9 points by itself? The the chicken...definitely at least 6 oz's of chicken or more for what 6 points, she counts her veggies at a zero which I'll let slide but we can't forget the handful of cheese they are going to put on there for a whopping 6pts (at least a cup) ? So her "healthier" Chicken and Cheese burrito if bought from La Cebollita is about 21 points!!! Versus my tacos...I'll spare you the break down and just give you the total...18 points (no cheese) and that's with sour cream! I saved three points thank you very much! And I'm okay eating that cuz I had like 2 ozs of peanuts and some dried apricots for breakfast lol...hell I still got like 25 something points left for dinner and dessert baby lol....see I understand the program I just don't journal lol...
Addendum...
I just got my order...there was avocado in the dam veggie taco that bumped my total up to 23 FUCK I loose....FUCK!
Addendum...
I just got my order...there was avocado in the dam veggie taco that bumped my total up to 23 FUCK I loose....FUCK!
Progress Continued...lol
Journaling
Forgot to add this probably because I'm still not doing it consistently! I mean I'm still only journaling during the day. WTF? I will preface this with I know this is an excuse but it's still a reality....by the time I figure out what I'm eating for dinner I like eat, stay up for like 15 minutes then go to sleep lol. I know LAME! I gotta figure out a way to nip this in the butt....gonna try and work it out on the next blog...
Forgot to add this probably because I'm still not doing it consistently! I mean I'm still only journaling during the day. WTF? I will preface this with I know this is an excuse but it's still a reality....by the time I figure out what I'm eating for dinner I like eat, stay up for like 15 minutes then go to sleep lol. I know LAME! I gotta figure out a way to nip this in the butt....gonna try and work it out on the next blog...
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Progress Update
Four Weeks On Program....
Weight
So, I just weighed myself and I'm down a lb (thank you Zumba class). Sups happy to be going down again. But I'm not going to dwell on it because I feel great and that's what matters...speaking of... Zumba Class Dudes, why is Zumba like a night out with my best friend Rocio? The whole time I was like "Man I wish Del as here! Shaking our ass, hips, and thighs is what we do!" I was just waiting for the teacher to drop it like it was hot. I will say this...why is it that in 2011 older women still feel the need to wear leotards and leggings to an aerobics class? lol....And i'm not hatin on the skinny girls it's just that....dude I don't want to see someone's aqua green camel toe while I'm working out that's all I'm saying (yes that happened...)! The teacher was a latina with hips and thighs so that made me feel better right away. I want to get an aerobic workout and firm up but I'm not trying to loose the good stuff! Speaking of good stuff... Rhianna So, I was watching the all Star game with my girl Becca, and I mentioned that Rhianna, who has taken up a penchant for brief-like bottoms with fringe, was "thick". Becca misunderstood that to mean fat. Then I proceeded to very badly explain what thick meant lol. First of all Rhianna is like all legs and like many black women all her plumpness is in her hips, thighs, and ass. And let me just put it out there, as a straight black women, even I'd do Rhianna! Her legs are, excuse my french, fuckin amazing! Jennifer has the booty but no thighs, Beyonce got the hips and thighs but her butt is so so lol, Rhianna has a round bottom, muscular thighs and rounds hips AND SHE STILL HAS SOME SPACE BETWEEN HER THIGHS! She is like 5'10 so that helps too...Heffer....lol
I guess the stockings help with the "firmness" (middle pic is from the All Star game), but tell me you wouldn't want her body! I think most minority women would love to have her body (I know I would) though many white women might consider her fat. I think it's a cultural difference because white men don't like a too much of the good stuff (at least what I've seen). Surprisingly, the one thing black men actually do like is hips, thighs, and ass! They want something to HOLD ON TO. Yet....I still can't find one who wants to hold on to my goodies....but that's a whole nother' blog lol... The more I look at her pics, the more I'm starting to wonder if Rhianna is trying to pull a Beyonce? I though Beyonce had cornered the market on the hourglass shape....hmmmm yes the hourglass is still my bar of comparison because no wants a hammer...a straight body with a big old head lmao! Curves are the word baby!....
Friday, February 18, 2011
Best Ear Hustled Conversation Ever....
Paramedic 1: ...Dude I did what I do with every other girl. I ignored her (laughs). Paramedic 1: What? You look like you wanna say something. Paramedic 2: No, no... Paramedic 1: Okay...(2 seconds later). Dude you wanna say something, go ahead! Paramedic 2: ...I wanna hit you in the face with a baseball bat (laughs)... Thank you Random Paramedic 2 for NOT excepting Paramedic 1''s douchebaggy behavior. Women around the world are unconsciously thanking you. :) -E
Soup DOES NOT = A Meal!
Dudes, I totally forgot to write about the catastrophic lunch I had the day before yesterday. Probably because I was too bu
sy eating lol. Okay so when I went on my "I'm not going to eat like crap" rampage Monday night through Ultra foods, I grabbed some Progresso soup. Hey it's supposed to be low in points right? A lot of WW's swear by it and WW endorses it...but you know what...I guess it would be low in points if over 2/3's of the dam can is BROTH! I had this Italian Meatball soup and it was like these tiiiinnny meatballs (like the ones they but in Spaghetti O's lol), lots of chunks of carrots, and smaller chunks of unidentifiable vegetable like stuff, all floating in a tomato flavored chicken broth......Ewwwwwww! Dudes I am chili, stew, and chowder girl through and through. Something hearty because in my opinion soup and salads are not meals they are starters! Because they have no substance they don't hold me so I have to be creative. Like this winter I've made at least one soup this winter. I just made a 6 can soup the other day but I had to throw a cup of rice in there to give it some substance. And because of that yes the points are higher but now I can get a filling meal for 7-10 pts (depending on how much I eat lol). It still has all the nutrients the broth based version has but now it has some substance. Yes it adds carbs but dam we do need some carbs to produce energy! I'm not gonna be wolfin down bowls of pasta like Michale Phelps anytime soon but, I feel like the swap is worth it cause after I ate that Progresso soup I continued to eat for the REST OF THE DAY. Candy, nuts, licorice, anything all because I wasn't sated (I even tracked it all too...I know yay me...yay for the tracking not the constant eating lol). I had a belly full of this broth crap and I guess I was full but again, it was like as soon as I peed that was that lol. I have a can of Progresso Sante Fe Chicken soup which is exactly like my 6 can soup. So, I will hold off on that but when I do eat it, I will cook some rice or whole wheat pasta to throw in it! And I know this all sounds like an excuse to eat more carbs or "unhealthy" but my first and foremost habit I need to break is distorted portions. But that means that whatever portion I eat has to be filled will filling foods that will keep me sated so I don't binge eat like I did Wed! One step at a time, one step at a time...! Phalbs-o fun! Earl
sy eating lol. Okay so when I went on my "I'm not going to eat like crap" rampage Monday night through Ultra foods, I grabbed some Progresso soup. Hey it's supposed to be low in points right? A lot of WW's swear by it and WW endorses it...but you know what...I guess it would be low in points if over 2/3's of the dam can is BROTH! I had this Italian Meatball soup and it was like these tiiiinnny meatballs (like the ones they but in Spaghetti O's lol), lots of chunks of carrots, and smaller chunks of unidentifiable vegetable like stuff, all floating in a tomato flavored chicken broth......Ewwwwwww! Dudes I am chili, stew, and chowder girl through and through. Something hearty because in my opinion soup and salads are not meals they are starters! Because they have no substance they don't hold me so I have to be creative. Like this winter I've made at least one soup this winter. I just made a 6 can soup the other day but I had to throw a cup of rice in there to give it some substance. And because of that yes the points are higher but now I can get a filling meal for 7-10 pts (depending on how much I eat lol). It still has all the nutrients the broth based version has but now it has some substance. Yes it adds carbs but dam we do need some carbs to produce energy! I'm not gonna be wolfin down bowls of pasta like Michale Phelps anytime soon but, I feel like the swap is worth it cause after I ate that Progresso soup I continued to eat for the REST OF THE DAY. Candy, nuts, licorice, anything all because I wasn't sated (I even tracked it all too...I know yay me...yay for the tracking not the constant eating lol). I had a belly full of this broth crap and I guess I was full but again, it was like as soon as I peed that was that lol. I have a can of Progresso Sante Fe Chicken soup which is exactly like my 6 can soup. So, I will hold off on that but when I do eat it, I will cook some rice or whole wheat pasta to throw in it! And I know this all sounds like an excuse to eat more carbs or "unhealthy" but my first and foremost habit I need to break is distorted portions. But that means that whatever portion I eat has to be filled will filling foods that will keep me sated so I don't binge eat like I did Wed! One step at a time, one step at a time...! Phalbs-o fun! Earl
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
New Food Find: Subway Breakfast Steak Melt
Dudes...I had to do the points twice! But for 5 points you can get a supa tasty steak and egg white 6 inch sandwich! Mine had onions and green peppers and was SUPA good I couldn't believe how low in points it was! I guess when all you need to point is the bread cheese and meat it helps lol....
Okay stop the celebrating...I started thinking about the bread alone (4-5 points) then the cheese and I knew that sand which wasn't no 5 pts lol. The sand which is 10 points...but that's pretty dam good if you add a piece a fruit and some water...you got a whole meal for 10 pts. With these higher point values it's hard to tell what's a good number for a meal. I meal I could eat five 10pt meals a day and still have one pt left over. Hell my breakfasts now are ten points and all I'm eating is brown sugar malto meal (with lite margarine)!
Okay stop the celebrating...I started thinking about the bread alone (4-5 points) then the cheese and I knew that sand which wasn't no 5 pts lol. The sand which is 10 points...but that's pretty dam good if you add a piece a fruit and some water...you got a whole meal for 10 pts. With these higher point values it's hard to tell what's a good number for a meal. I meal I could eat five 10pt meals a day and still have one pt left over. Hell my breakfasts now are ten points and all I'm eating is brown sugar malto meal (with lite margarine)!
Monday, February 14, 2011
Ugh...Enough of This!
Soooo...I've had my blog page up since 8am but I just feel that it's time to right. Probably because I've skip to the worst part of wight loss in just 3 weeks lol! I'm at the I'm bored and this is tiresome part. Of course these are excuses which is why I'm bleepin writing but I need to get myself in check. The only way I can do this is just to make time to both go grocery shopping and to my Zumba classes (that I have already paid for mind you!). I was going to list pro's and con's of this past week but I think my 3 lb gain says it all lol. So, I am back where I started (hell I'd only lost 3 lbs lol). So, I am not going to panic yet. I have a long time till July and I am convinced (and this is not lying to myself, I've proven this) that once I start moving my metabolism will wake the hell up and help me out! I think it's also a matter of just doing without thinking... Okay just reserved my spot for THIS Sunday's Zumba class. 
I guess I just had to put it on here for a little accountability....probably why I was avoiding my blog to day lol. I knew what I HAD to do but it didn't change the fact that I still didn't want to do it. Let's just see if I actually make it. Gonna put it on my calendar and everything... Feeling more motivated, -Phleezy (I know I'm stretchin it on that one lol)....
I guess I just had to put it on here for a little accountability....probably why I was avoiding my blog to day lol. I knew what I HAD to do but it didn't change the fact that I still didn't want to do it. Let's just see if I actually make it. Gonna put it on my calendar and everything... Feeling more motivated, -Phleezy (I know I'm stretchin it on that one lol)....
Friday, February 11, 2011
Dude!
Dudes I haven't tracked since Tuesday...yikes! And guess what else I just realized about my tracking...I'm still acting like I don't have internet on the go lol. I track everything up untli 5pm then I'm so used to tracking the rest of the day the NEXT day I have a lot of empty dinner entries lol.
Also, I feel better about the eating crap thing. Yesterday I ordered mongolian beef with shrimp friend rice and hot and sour soup...sounds like a lot? Well, I was able to successfully only eat have my lunch and I saved the soup and the other half of food for dinner! See I haven't totally lost all of my healthy eating scrooples.....dude I just wrote the word scrooples lol.
Also, I feel better about the eating crap thing. Yesterday I ordered mongolian beef with shrimp friend rice and hot and sour soup...sounds like a lot? Well, I was able to successfully only eat have my lunch and I saved the soup and the other half of food for dinner! See I haven't totally lost all of my healthy eating scrooples.....dude I just wrote the word scrooples lol.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Yup Self Detructive Fat...
Dudes I have been eating like absolute CRAP for two days. I mean white castle!, pizza for two meals, veggies have become few and far between. CHOCOLATE...yeah a really stressful project at work sent me straight to the candy basket I've avoided for like 2.5 weeks straight! I just finished a Reese peanut butter cup....AHHHHHH! lol. It's not that bad. At least I am cognizant I am doing this. I knew the stressful project at work was just an excuse for me to validate not having willpower. Well, my strategy is to just give in to each and every impulse now----WAIT there is some logic here. Instead of feeling like I'm failing everyday for trying then not jumping back on program, I think the more glutinous I feel and the heavier I feel (this kinda food does not make one feel energized) I will be forced to change. I mean I am fighting a cold and not getting enough sleep and I need fuel not crap. It will get to me after a while. Okay this still sounds like bullshit...okay it's like if you ate steak everyday. Eventually it'd loose it's appeal as a treat and well eating steak all day would get boring right? So, if I can with stand this storm I'll be on the good foot. Or I could have a hugetastic gain and be F*cked lol. Not literary fireworks but I was honest and blogged about it so there. :)
Monday, February 7, 2011
Okay...gonna blog then be done...
Okay, so I have been majorly avoiding this subject but since I am a naturally expressive person trying to keep any thought in my head for too long is pretty much impossible lol. I also warn you that this is one of those super personal blogs so if you are uncomfortable or have some pithy dating advise to give me please KEEP THAT SHIT TO YOURSELF! I see a shrink for that crap. I am also working on 4 hours of sleep and apologize in advance for my extreme crankiness lol. 
So, I am in infatuation with a guy. He shall remain nameless cause who knows how apeshit I'm gonna go here. Basically he's one of those guys you meet and can't find anything wrong with him. It also helps that---get this---I've only met him once lol. I know kind of pathetic and kind of intrigues me because NO MAN has EVER made that kind of impression on me. It must also be stated that I pretty much HATE dating and have given up. A lot of this actually has to do with my weight. It's funny cause my shrink (therapist) and I often get into debates about that last statement and hence why I am putting this blog here. I'm trying to "be real" so don't judge me yet lol... I used to think that men only saw what was on the outside. And as a 5'7.5 obese woman that spells doom lol. But then as I have matured and met more mature men, it has come to my attention that perhaps there are a small percentage of men who actually value things other than how hot a chick looks in skin tight jeggings. Now here is where me and my therapist and I disagree...I still think that men value their attraction to the outside FIRST it's natural and it seems---and I'm not trying to man hate here I'm just saying but it seems---- like most men are kind of simply hardwired to think that. Girl. Boobs. Hot. lol. And to me, men who have tried to talk to me or thrown some interest in me do it not because they are attracted to me physically but because of my personality. Now every once and while there is an exception. Just this past Saturday some random guy bought my $3 PBR and just walked away. It was very odd cause I'd just sat down, no convo nothing. He just saw me and reacted. Clearly he liked what he saw cause he sprang for the Pabst lol. But I sometimes feel that the MAJORITY of men simply "tolerate" big women. I mean who wouldn't want to bang someone who looks like Kim Kardashian or Megan Fox, or Beyonce? Or better yet how about the girl next door....you know those girls 5'5, skinny or "thick" (a.k.a fat in all the right places), plain hair, sweet disposition....yeah NOT me. And not to be all hollywood but I'm kind of reminded of Glee's bullying episode this weekend (hate me later for the Glee reference lol)...I already realize I have put these girls (the preferred type girls I mentioned above) on a pedestal thats why I envy them. Yes men love them but...and here's my shrinks opinion lol...because there a few men out there who actually find some bigger women attractive I should deduce that my evaluation of how men think can't be correct. Note I said should because I think she's FOS because I've done the leg work! And if you're a big girl who's ever been out with her skinny friends then you know where I'm coming from (its the DUFF Syndrome---being treated like the Designated Ugly Fat Friend). And I know it's easy to say "well if you weren't so anal or treated YOURSELF like a D.U.F.F. men could get to know you" and you're probably right lol. But I will counter with this...I want to meet someone I am attracted to, who lives in this friggin state, and is attracted to me not IN SPITE of my weight or even because of it (there are men who just love fat women because they're fat, like it's a fetish or something...?), but because they want to both touch me AND talk to me. I think we all know this feeling...when you meet someone and all you want to do is wrap your arms around them and talk about stupid shit as they hold you. That feeling of just being close and sharing a moment with someone who "gets" you? Ugh...wasn't expecting that emotional revelation....I spose' this is the first "lovin myself first" blog...ugh squared... It's only 9:03am am I already need a dam drink lol...
So, I am in infatuation with a guy. He shall remain nameless cause who knows how apeshit I'm gonna go here. Basically he's one of those guys you meet and can't find anything wrong with him. It also helps that---get this---I've only met him once lol. I know kind of pathetic and kind of intrigues me because NO MAN has EVER made that kind of impression on me. It must also be stated that I pretty much HATE dating and have given up. A lot of this actually has to do with my weight. It's funny cause my shrink (therapist) and I often get into debates about that last statement and hence why I am putting this blog here. I'm trying to "be real" so don't judge me yet lol... I used to think that men only saw what was on the outside. And as a 5'7.5 obese woman that spells doom lol. But then as I have matured and met more mature men, it has come to my attention that perhaps there are a small percentage of men who actually value things other than how hot a chick looks in skin tight jeggings. Now here is where me and my therapist and I disagree...I still think that men value their attraction to the outside FIRST it's natural and it seems---and I'm not trying to man hate here I'm just saying but it seems---- like most men are kind of simply hardwired to think that. Girl. Boobs. Hot. lol. And to me, men who have tried to talk to me or thrown some interest in me do it not because they are attracted to me physically but because of my personality. Now every once and while there is an exception. Just this past Saturday some random guy bought my $3 PBR and just walked away. It was very odd cause I'd just sat down, no convo nothing. He just saw me and reacted. Clearly he liked what he saw cause he sprang for the Pabst lol. But I sometimes feel that the MAJORITY of men simply "tolerate" big women. I mean who wouldn't want to bang someone who looks like Kim Kardashian or Megan Fox, or Beyonce? Or better yet how about the girl next door....you know those girls 5'5, skinny or "thick" (a.k.a fat in all the right places), plain hair, sweet disposition....yeah NOT me. And not to be all hollywood but I'm kind of reminded of Glee's bullying episode this weekend (hate me later for the Glee reference lol)...I already realize I have put these girls (the preferred type girls I mentioned above) on a pedestal thats why I envy them. Yes men love them but...and here's my shrinks opinion lol...because there a few men out there who actually find some bigger women attractive I should deduce that my evaluation of how men think can't be correct. Note I said should because I think she's FOS because I've done the leg work! And if you're a big girl who's ever been out with her skinny friends then you know where I'm coming from (its the DUFF Syndrome---being treated like the Designated Ugly Fat Friend). And I know it's easy to say "well if you weren't so anal or treated YOURSELF like a D.U.F.F. men could get to know you" and you're probably right lol. But I will counter with this...I want to meet someone I am attracted to, who lives in this friggin state, and is attracted to me not IN SPITE of my weight or even because of it (there are men who just love fat women because they're fat, like it's a fetish or something...?), but because they want to both touch me AND talk to me. I think we all know this feeling...when you meet someone and all you want to do is wrap your arms around them and talk about stupid shit as they hold you. That feeling of just being close and sharing a moment with someone who "gets" you? Ugh...wasn't expecting that emotional revelation....I spose' this is the first "lovin myself first" blog...ugh squared... It's only 9:03am am I already need a dam drink lol...
Friday, February 4, 2011
Bootlegger Tips...
Gonna churn out few of these that I am copywriting right now so use em but don't even think about doing anything in the realm of putting them into a book!
Bootlegger Tip #1
Want to make a dish with ground beef but hate that lean ground beef costs more than the regular ol' 85' 15? Or do you just gag at the smell of cooked ground turkey (I know I do lol)? Then here's a tip for you....Warning: I wouldn't try this with anything less than 85/15 just because of the method used.
So...buy that 85/15, saute and season your meat, and then throw it in a pasta strainer. I like to grab a spatula to help press the grease out of the meat. Now some people like to actually rinse their ground beef but you loose the over all flavor of the meat and you rinse off all the seasoning you just put into your meat! I can't say how much it helps, but I know I feel better knowing I'm eating something that's lower in saturated fat and still tasty.
Bootlegger Mini Tip...
Need two lbs of ground beef? Use 1 lb of strained 85/15 and 2 cups (ish) of cooked lentils! The great thing about lentils is they absorb any flavor you put in them, so believe me you won't be able to tell the difference lol.
Bootlegger Tip #1
Want to make a dish with ground beef but hate that lean ground beef costs more than the regular ol' 85' 15? Or do you just gag at the smell of cooked ground turkey (I know I do lol)? Then here's a tip for you....Warning: I wouldn't try this with anything less than 85/15 just because of the method used.
So...buy that 85/15, saute and season your meat, and then throw it in a pasta strainer. I like to grab a spatula to help press the grease out of the meat. Now some people like to actually rinse their ground beef but you loose the over all flavor of the meat and you rinse off all the seasoning you just put into your meat! I can't say how much it helps, but I know I feel better knowing I'm eating something that's lower in saturated fat and still tasty.
Bootlegger Mini Tip...
Need two lbs of ground beef? Use 1 lb of strained 85/15 and 2 cups (ish) of cooked lentils! The great thing about lentils is they absorb any flavor you put in them, so believe me you won't be able to tell the difference lol.
New Food Find: Trader Joe's "21 Seasoning Salute" No Salt Seasoning
So, the cheap-o generic no-salt seasoning I have just ain't been getting it. And in an effort to cut back on my salt intake (I used to cook with not even a spec of salt), I picked up Trader Joe's "21 Seasoning Salute". I love the flavor of this, though I have a feeling I'm going to mainly use this on meat. as it is, every time I smell it all I want to do is roast a steak lol. I think it was $2.99. good stuff.Addendum: Tried this on some bland ol rice with veggies (It was one of those 'Steamer" bags form the frozen section) and boy did it kick it up a notch! I think I may have used a scooch of lite margarine too, but it was soooo much better than the plain steamed version I tried last month and have rightly not tried again cause it was so BLAND! lol....lol....
Progress Check In...
I think this is the second one this week...oh well, I choose to note progress or non-progress when I see fit lol (I love this no rules blog thing). So, I officially weighed in for this week. I'm up a pound but it's watev. Here's some of the lowlights and highlights of this week:
In general, I'm trying to stick to my journaling motto of "journal it and forget it". Like right now just to make me journal I'm trying to not look at the numbers or get to caught up in the math. Just put it in, see if I go over and close the dam thing lol. I know some people get caught up in the numbers but I did that one time and I got tired of having to do 30 minutes of math to create a meal because everything I was eating I was cooking. Now that I have welcomed processed foods back into my life it helps with the journaling.
Speaking of my food choices...
I'm still limiting my processed foods to snacks and frozen dinners. It saves me so much friggin time packing my bag of food in the morning. And yes, I have totally turned into one of those people who pack a dam cooler's worth (though I refuse to put mine in a cooler, jewel's bag it will be) of food everyday. I mean it's both the hard part of losing wight and working full time and a good thing. Bad because you have to buy food that will taste okay nuked (I prefer hot food) and will last all day, but good because you know at 8am exactly what you're going to eat which means you only have to point ONCE a day lol. Okay gonna ramble off random thoughts right now...
Lack of Sandwhich Making....
In lieu of the loaf of bread I threw away yesterday that was moist on the bottom and hard on the top (ewwwww)....I can't believe I can't get BACK into the habit of making sandwiches. I think in 2005/6 when I first started WW, I broke myself of it because I was having portion control issues with the meat and the bread was like 2pts a piece. And it's crazy cause I used to be a sandwich eating machine but now I seriously can't get back into it. I mean for the last 6months to a year every time I buy lunch meat it goes bad and since I'm trying to hold fast to my "don't eat bad food just because it's convenient" rule (McDonald's is the exception tho my choices there have become pretty limited)....I don't buy bologna anymore not even the turkey kind. If I'm going to eat lunch meat I want the real deal! I usually find the ham on sale, and I only like the flavored turkey breast but then I don't make any dam sandwiches! I have kept my habit of buying snack size bags of chips for my sandwiches that I never make tho. First on the bread....I can't afford 1 pt bread. Sorry I'll eat less meat and choose a healthy bread worth two points over the opposite any day. And say what you want but when I eat a sandwich I need a bag of chips, so I buy the snack size ones. Remember it's not about eliminating, but everything in moderation right? Only problem is now I have these chips lying around that I eat for snacks which I can't just stop at one bag lol. Crazy. And I love PB and J's but PB&J with chips is just unnatural lol. So, for now since I know I prefer hot food, I will continue to buy a few more frozen dinners (they're so expensive you know you can only buy a couple at a time lol) and be mindful about my leftovers. But making sandwiches would help with the "pack three meals a day" thing.
Lowlights (yeah let's just get em out the way....)
- Did not point Wed or Thurs---BUT this was due to SNOWMAGEDDON 2011. I couldn't get the online tracker to come up (I tried for like 30 minutes several times). And I could do the paper journaling cause I don't have the new stuff. I did however, today go in and just put my max points in. I mean I know I ate like a pigg-o (and enjoyed it fuckers lol) so the max is not too too far off.
- Did not do my 16cts of choreography.
HIGHLIGHTS! (boo to the yow)
- Shoveled for 45 minutes with a 3ft shovel to get my car out lol.
- Then, AFTER shoveling for 45 minutes, I went for a ONE HOUR photo walk around my neighborhood surveying the wrath of Snowmageddon 2011 (there were downed branches due to the lighting and thundersnow eek!)
- Did 20 pushups last night (10 was from last week!)---the grunting/pissed off feeling help energize me into that second set. Loved getting that aggression of not having done the stupid ten pushups done out. This is a good sign...me voluntarily pushing myself to do crap I don't like...Maybe I'll move to my dance tapes soon!)
- Did 20 minutes of yoga last night...my back thanks me. Just wish I wouldn't have then slept weirdly on my couch lmao!
In general, I'm trying to stick to my journaling motto of "journal it and forget it". Like right now just to make me journal I'm trying to not look at the numbers or get to caught up in the math. Just put it in, see if I go over and close the dam thing lol. I know some people get caught up in the numbers but I did that one time and I got tired of having to do 30 minutes of math to create a meal because everything I was eating I was cooking. Now that I have welcomed processed foods back into my life it helps with the journaling.
Speaking of my food choices...
I'm still limiting my processed foods to snacks and frozen dinners. It saves me so much friggin time packing my bag of food in the morning. And yes, I have totally turned into one of those people who pack a dam cooler's worth (though I refuse to put mine in a cooler, jewel's bag it will be) of food everyday. I mean it's both the hard part of losing wight and working full time and a good thing. Bad because you have to buy food that will taste okay nuked (I prefer hot food) and will last all day, but good because you know at 8am exactly what you're going to eat which means you only have to point ONCE a day lol. Okay gonna ramble off random thoughts right now...
Lack of Sandwhich Making....
In lieu of the loaf of bread I threw away yesterday that was moist on the bottom and hard on the top (ewwwww)....I can't believe I can't get BACK into the habit of making sandwiches. I think in 2005/6 when I first started WW, I broke myself of it because I was having portion control issues with the meat and the bread was like 2pts a piece. And it's crazy cause I used to be a sandwich eating machine but now I seriously can't get back into it. I mean for the last 6months to a year every time I buy lunch meat it goes bad and since I'm trying to hold fast to my "don't eat bad food just because it's convenient" rule (McDonald's is the exception tho my choices there have become pretty limited)....I don't buy bologna anymore not even the turkey kind. If I'm going to eat lunch meat I want the real deal! I usually find the ham on sale, and I only like the flavored turkey breast but then I don't make any dam sandwiches! I have kept my habit of buying snack size bags of chips for my sandwiches that I never make tho. First on the bread....I can't afford 1 pt bread. Sorry I'll eat less meat and choose a healthy bread worth two points over the opposite any day. And say what you want but when I eat a sandwich I need a bag of chips, so I buy the snack size ones. Remember it's not about eliminating, but everything in moderation right? Only problem is now I have these chips lying around that I eat for snacks which I can't just stop at one bag lol. Crazy. And I love PB and J's but PB&J with chips is just unnatural lol. So, for now since I know I prefer hot food, I will continue to buy a few more frozen dinners (they're so expensive you know you can only buy a couple at a time lol) and be mindful about my leftovers. But making sandwiches would help with the "pack three meals a day" thing.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Confused...
yes I have moments like this, don't judge punk lol... Okay so, I did my progress post and came to my front page to see my old headshot. So then I was like "Oh shit I gots to get the new headshot up, cause it's divalicious". 
Then I immediately thought how is it that I can get dressed up and feel so empowered one day and on a different day put on the same outfit and feel like crap? And no it's not just the hormones either guys lol. This why I struggle with the whole "why I'm losin weight thing". There have been lots of phabulously curvy women out there who work being plus sized and get the hottest men. I, like a jealous asshole, always secretly think " oh he just wants her cause she's probably desperate" to make myself feel better but then I get my guts ripped rightly out every time I see a big girl with a hot guy in a LONG TERM relationship or married. Then what's my excuse to hate on her or myself? It's a matter of truly believing EVERYDAY that I am phabulous! That is something I strive for. THAT is a goal I want to reach. Screw losing 25 by July, if I could truly accept myself to a non-therapy degree (no one loves their body all the time not even the stars or there wouldn't be anyone to throw up in fancy Hollywood restaurants lol) I would be the happiest Earl I could be not despite my size but AT any size (just teared up on that one...whew....)!
Then I immediately thought how is it that I can get dressed up and feel so empowered one day and on a different day put on the same outfit and feel like crap? And no it's not just the hormones either guys lol. This why I struggle with the whole "why I'm losin weight thing". There have been lots of phabulously curvy women out there who work being plus sized and get the hottest men. I, like a jealous asshole, always secretly think " oh he just wants her cause she's probably desperate" to make myself feel better but then I get my guts ripped rightly out every time I see a big girl with a hot guy in a LONG TERM relationship or married. Then what's my excuse to hate on her or myself? It's a matter of truly believing EVERYDAY that I am phabulous! That is something I strive for. THAT is a goal I want to reach. Screw losing 25 by July, if I could truly accept myself to a non-therapy degree (no one loves their body all the time not even the stars or there wouldn't be anyone to throw up in fancy Hollywood restaurants lol) I would be the happiest Earl I could be not despite my size but AT any size (just teared up on that one...whew....)!
Progress...Two Weeks
So, it only took me two weeks but I had my first on point day! It felt good (like this just might be possible). So in light of that I wanted to note things what are working:
- I think I have CUT my afternoon candy habit! I haven't eaten candy at work for 2 weeks! NOW THAT IS SOMETHING TO CELEBRATE! Boo to the friggin yow! I mean I don't even like chocolate and candy like I used to but I started working at my current job with all the kids and candy bowls that my sweet tooth reemerged...literally. I'm happy I've cut this out for dental reasons more than health! Ouch! So what have I been doing...something I've heard before and finally decided to try...I went to Walgreens and got some $1 dried dates and figs and a $3 can of unsalted roasted peanuts. I pack a little plastic container and boo yow. I don't even need that much because the dam dried fruit is so sweet you only need like 2-3 of each, and I actually....hold the presses...
- GOT OUT MY FOOD SCALE! Yes I did, and actually MEASURED my peanuts lol. 2 ozs to be exact. And when you point it. it seems like a lot but for a couple of days I've only eaten half of that.
- I AM STILL JOUNRALING! Sometimes I forget things but I am holding fast to my journaling motto "Journaling...I fuckin' hate you, so I will point and go before I catch a case". LOL. Like I love that WW keeps all of your user created shit no matter how many times you come to the site. Meaning I have a lot of my saved low fat recipes but now the points are all wrong. When I start compiling my recipes for my cookbook I will have to redo those....
Dam excusin...
Just wanted to note that I still haven't done my push ups or 16cts. But I did buy 4 zumba classes! Am also going to force myself to workout on tomorrow's confirmed SNOW DAY!!!!
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