So, I forgot to write about this...
Saturday my friend Noelia (who is trying to loose some baby weight but has struggled with her weight as I have) and I finally hooked up and went back to meetings. For me, it's been about a year or so and I was VERY nervous about it. I mean I was expecting BORING so I went on the trusty WW message boards and put out a straight up desperate plea so that if this meeting sucked I go to other meetings in addition to this one that I have to go to because it's the midway point (Oak Lawn) for Noelia and I.
First off, turns out my friend from WW Jeannie that I meant a few years ago, who's younger and more into stuff I do (than the old foagies at the Oak Park location), goes to the same meeting. And though it was a little quiet, apparently the 8:30am meeting is pretty lively. The leader is an older women but really nice. Much livelier than the woman I had in Oak Park.We'll see this weekend. Oh did you miss that?...Earl's VOLUNTARILY going to a SATURDAY 8:30 friggin AM WW meeting lol. But the good thing is, you're in and out and I have the rest of my day! No more rushing from work and then being bummed about whatever happened at the meeting. Or not having time to celebrate or cook or anything because I've lost an hour of my evening. It was so nice I almost forgot it happened lol.
I said I would do anything and everything this time around including meetings with a GOOD leader. I want someone who does extra stuff in addition to the prescribed WW curriculum. I saw that they are advertising another 5K in that area in addition to the Elmhurst one (fyi walked 30 minutes on Sunday...yeah I did. I even PLANNED my other walks for the week...hoping I stick to it!). They were also giving out gold stars if you walked that week for the Elmhurst WW 5K so it looks like they are helping us keep track and be accountable...cool! I want gold stars! So, this could be a good meeting for me to start with. It's actually not as far as I thought it'd be either. It's a big center and for it to have been 8:30 we had to stand! I mean the weekends probably are full because of the weekdays being so hard to fit in these things. But like the material said, map out time for me. Map out your exercise, meetings, and other free time just for me. And make them non-negotiable! So, I did that! I do it with everything else why not with things that are just as important to my sanity lol?
Great Exercise Expectations...
In terms of my exercise, I decided to go away from the WW walk everyday plan because with two jobs and a performance this week (staged reading tonight!), I'd rather not rush it and just do it when I have planned time for it (versus "when I have time for it"..which is NEVER! lol). THAT is the loving myself aspect that I am working on. Being patient remember? Of course I'd like to walk everyday but I know I will get pissed off with myself when I watch tv at lunch instead of walking when dammit, I need to TAKE A BREAK sometimes lol. My job can be pretty stressful and that one hour is my hour. If I want to sit around and watch Barney Miller after I eat, it's my choice. As long as it is now IN ADDITION to my planned walking times and not INSTEAD of my planned walking times lol. Also, I realized this Sunday that because I'd PLANNED to walk, it wasn't such a big deal. I actually took TWO walks. One in the morning to the hardware store (and an extra block or two), then one a half a mile away actually to air up my bike that I then rode home! And, it was nice. I didn't feel rushed and it didn't feel forced cause I already knew I had to do it lol. This planning my exercise thing might actually work lol.
You Are Not Alone...
Anywho, back to the meetings...I am excited and both TERRIFIED....terrified because I have it all now. A new meeting location, not one but TWO really dedicated friends to help me through, my weightloss blog...I mean I might actually succeed this time and that unknown...it truly scary. I said that as I was leaving and another member who I didn't know was, like "don't say that you WILL succeed no might about it!". To that random WW...THANK YOU. Not that I thought I would fail...It's too early yet for that talk! But after 3 months of only having this blog to really express my feelings...it felt so good to not feel ALONE. I think it's what I've needed for a while. To be in a place where EVERY SINGLE PERSON around me is going through the journey too. No need to hide or write about it, when I can just talk about vent whine or celebrate with another human being! This is why I loved meetings when I first started WW what 6 years ago. TOO much of the time, I tell myself either "Everybody goes through this no need to bother people with your problems" or "nobody cares get it together!" either way it leaves me having to deal with this hard thing that makes me insecure that I feel I can't talk about. Then enters the shame because of it. Dude body image and self esteem is one subject that seems so easy ("just be happy!"---that was actual advice from a family member a while ago on how to counteract anxiety over my weight) but almost EVERY person deals with to one degree or another. Speaking of...saw that Arnold Schrwenagger is freaking out because he's aging lol. He "doesn't like what he sees in the mirror"...well he made all of his money being the muscular hunk what did he think that would last forever....ya 63 yr old crow's feet are natural! And believe me if he hadn't gotten a face life or whatever he did he'd still be that hot muscular hunk. It's all in how you rock it!
Yes I am the same girl who can say things like that and write a 4 page negative blog about my own waistline lol. I hate seeing the things I struggle with in other people. It actually doesn't make me feel better it makes me want to cheer them on cause I know what it's like to be alone (see me wrapping this shit back u ..yeah boi!). And it's for that reason that I write and I'm a supa softie...I'm a Cancer lol. That I document this journey...and it looks like I've finally found a couple of people (and hopefully a whole meetings' worth of people) who will cheer for me too :)....
Feeling Phsappy lol,
Earl
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