Food Addict? Emotional Eater?

Okay....so I had a couple of "those day"...days where I'm convinced I must be addicted to food lol.

So, the day before yesterday I had the DD disaster for breakfast then at lunch at pot stickers and szwechan veggies with rice which actually wasn't bad....till my big boss sat a pretty full box of Lil Debbie glazed cake doughnut holes in front of me.  I knew that there were like 2-3 more unopened boxes (they were leftover from a meeting) so I proceeded to eat like half a box. I had to hand them to a co-worker to stop...yeah I felt pretty bad afterwards.  Both physically and emotionally.

I mean I really kicked myself for it.  I had a lunchable for dinner like 8 hours later cause I was still feeling like crap and it could have been avoided if I simply said no.  So, yesterday I decided to "eat better" and "economically" so I packed lunch of spaghetti that I needed to get rid of anyway, with a bag of carrots and some McD's Southwest dressing...(don't you just love the taste of liquid corn chips :)?)....well, they had free lunch at one of the sites of one of the only things I'll eat here...spinach lasagna and salad.  Well I made a plate and nibbled on that around 1pm...well I eat lunch at 2.  Instead of having one for dinner or lunch the next day, because the lasagna tasted better I ate that with the carrots and salad...well then I wasn't full because I'd started eating it at 1, so I ate the spaghetti too. Ugh.  I didn't feel as miserable as the day before but I made a promise to not eat at my second job.  I didn't even take the lunchable I'd planned to take.  Instead, I stared at cookies all night.  I mean I would ask or go over there for a cookie two seconds after listing all the reasons I shouldn't!  It was like automatic. Like my "healthy" voice (I erased "good"...trying to get out of value judgements) was getting punked by my "need to eat" voice.  Ugh squared.  I mean I was seriously fighting myself not to go over there and honestly...I WASN'T EVEN HUNGRY!  That's the killer part!

So, of course when I got home I kinda pigged out.  Two McD's hamburgers, a side salad, and a large fry.  I like INHALED it.  And yeah I'm being SUPER honest here so no judgements please, I feel bad enough lol.  So, then I started thinking what the hell is going on with me?  Am I some kind of food addict?

So, being the consummate student I am, I went and looked it up and the field seems a bit dodgy but I don't hide food or binge THAT often.  Maybe once a month or something.  Oh and I don't through it up after (why waste good food dude?).  So, I'm not sure what's going on with this.  I mean I saw last night that it was more emotional than anything.  I WANTED THAT FRIGGIN COOKIE! lol...and why?...because I SAID I wanted something sweet...but the thing was after my Italian lunch spectactular lol... I WASN'T EVEN HUNGRY! Will talk to my shrink about this...doesn't seem emotional right to go into "cookie jones" over something I don't physically want..plus I'm not a huge chocolate chip eater lol. My analysis...I may not be a food addict but I think I'm an emotional eater.  Don't let me get stressed or on my period I practically give myself a free pass (hence the once a month food fiestas lol). Will research this....

Your Phabulous Phood Detective...
Earl