AWKWARD....lol

Ear hustled the strangest conversation today between a woman who'd had gastric and REFUSES to exercise, though she'd recently begrudgingly began walking and another woman who'd had the lap band and loved eating high fat foods and wine. Her thing was to simply get her band adjusted while the other woman cut out wine and full fat foods...yet as the only real plus sized woman in the vicinity...I find it strange that both had had these surgeries done and like I'd always assumed still don't know how to maintain a healthy weight or live a healthy lifestyle. VERY WEIRD KARMATIC OCCURRENCE....given my goal this year to loose 26 pounds by July 1st or I get a lap band put in. Very interesting in deed... Then Ms. LB (Lapband) continues on to say how she's afraid she's going to go back to "before" when she "thought she would always be fat" or something like that....now to give you idea of the proximity of this conversation...I was fixing an issue on Ms. GB's (Gastric By pass) computer and they were literally standing right behind me...I didn't know if I should agree with them or be offended. Then I realized it was a matter of prospective...I mean only someone larger than them who considered themselves unattractive ALREADY would agree with them...right? I mean the super confident part of me was like "These chicks need to find another hobby" but the realistic-picked on since 2nd grade Earl was like "Wow I guess everyone struggles. Am I afraid I will never succeed too?"....It was both enlighting and scary. Then of course my very large brain went into over drive and I started to thinking...if I admitted that there are times I feel ugly then all my girlfriends will give me the "But your beautiful!" talk. And though I love them...its just not the same as hearing it from someone you're attracted to lol. Not to mention I think it's natural (which may be my problem in all this lol) that women especially go through periods where they just don't feel attractive! Hell it's hard to be a woman! you gotta keep up your body yes, but then there's the hair and nails, and clothing (yes bad style can unmake ANY potential DIVA). Ugh it's exhausting! Which is why most of the time I flip that crap the bird because when I'm working I need to be focused on more important things. And when I'm playing I'm The Diva...I AM THE DIVA period :). But with my acting going into a different realm here it's like those lines are blurring because in my industry presentation IS EVERYTHING...ewww lol.