So, in my current state of constant self reflection I've been thinking about the whole dating thing again, but from the...wait for it...marriage point of view lol. It occurred to me after reading a fair few online dating profiles of men declaring that they were "tired of the bar scene", that I didn't really understand that statement. I mean we all know that most (not all) women have some kind of "biological clock" that is promptly smashed to bits once they push out a baby lol. But what about men?
I've heard that men have biological clocks too but in my never ending quest to understand the male mind (expect my thesis on the subject in a couple hundred years lol), I was wondering what the "emotional" need cycle of both women and men are. For example, let's take on the female emotional need cycle by age first and yes this will be quite simplistic given that this just a theory....
Women-20's
So, it seems in our 20's women are trying to find their independence whilst generally grappling with self image and confidence issues borne in our teens. In short 20 year old women strive to look good and have fun...I mean what else do we have to do while in the "prime of our youth"?
Women-30's
In our 30's, success is the name of the game for most women. They've done the dating thing and starting to look for Mr. Right even though we still drag that self image baggage into each relationship hoping Mr. Right will accept or change us (depends on how you see that personally). We party with limits now and we only dress up "to go out", which becomes less frequent as the 30's looms because we either work more or we've gotten married and had kids. I mean these "are the years" to pop em out! The biological clock begins and is pratically ringing incessantly the farther into our 30's we get lol.
Women-40's
Now this is what I see as the hardest decade for most women. Not only because you'll be going through "The Change" , the bilogical clock is either dying, going insane, or silent. It's something that even if some women don't voice, it bothers them. Any sort of weight from children or just life in general have seemed to cemented intself to our frames and depression and or divorce is high in this age range due to the stress from all of the above. It's also been rumored that a woman's sex drive might start amping back up as some women who divorce in their 40's become cougars (grrrrr!) and well they're looking for something extra after such-and-such many years of marriage. So, you may also see a renewed interest in appearances in general.
Women-50's
By this time women are
starting to accept themselves or.....they're running for the plastic surgeon for "one last chance" to reclaim their youth lol. However, after having raised their children, been married a while or divorced, women start to come back to nurturing themselves toward the late 50's. Women see diet changes (that actually make sense primarily due to the onset of some medical conditions---high blood pressure, diabetes, etc.), hobbies that "they've always wanted to do", and a deep interest in children/grandchildren.
Women-60's
Okay so now whatever's sagging is just going to sag because by 60, most women's skin and bodies have had it and we know it. So most not only accept their bodies but start to enjoy not having to "put on the ritz" to feel good. Enter Dr. Scholls ( though I wear these now and they're stylishly awesome), grandma panties (hey they are comfty), and sweets (no more suckin it in!).
Now, given that I am a woman that was pretty thorough (and accurate in my humble opinion) emotional need assestment of my sex by decade. However, now we cross into the bulk of my "theories". I will try to not male bash, and if it helps I was pretty honest about what women are generally going through even if every 20-30-40-50-60 yr old I know disagrees!
Men-20's
Many-a-girlfriend have heard me refer to this as the "P---y Period" for men lol. Men come out of their teens with an exceptional interest in not only their bodies but women's bodies. In short, we make them feel good and they want and start to NEED sex. So basically, men are utilizing their youthful stamina, establishing style and having fun too!
Men-30's
This is the decade I find most puzzling. Primarily because some men stay stuck in the p---y period while some hit the extreme opposite and start "getting tired of the bar scene"---and that's a direct quote from many an online male profile---and start "looking to settle down". Hmmm. So, here's the question I wonder about men...where does this pressure come from? I mean real talk. Women have the biological clock, do men to have some sort of biological clock? Is it motivated by some sort of physiological thing (hormones?) or is it societal? Like who wants to be getting "white boy wasted" at 34? I mean when we're (other 30 year olds) see the clearly aging frat boy getting drunk at a bar we don't think that's hot we think it's kinda sad---oh admit it you've thought it! Men learn that their body just doesn't react the same and quite frankly we all want to feel good as we age. So does enhanced responsibilties like looking out for ones health, paying bills (most at this age are living are their own), and having stability pressure men into "completing" the picture by adding the wife and 2.5 kids?
Men-40's
By this time most men have had a few long term girlfriends or couple of wives. Fun fact lol...did you know that of the men I "surveyed" , men would ideally like to have sex EVERY OTHER DAY! So it's no suprise most men will have had kids by this age. Anywho, by this time men's bodies FINALLY start to soften up a bit. So by the mid to end of this decade the mid-life crisis may hit. Some men wantdesire small cars, cut waistlines, and young women to help them ignore the fact that they are aging. if they can't get that other dependencies develop (cheating, alchol abuse, abuse in general). It's weird, small expensive cars and young women are like the male version of a 40 yr old woman's botox and weightwatchers....scary lol.
Men-50's
This is the decade I think men are really at their prime. They've learned a fair bit about relationships, their own bodies, rearing children. They've worked (hopefully) enough that they are ready to enjoy the simple things. This is where I think personnaly, men's style becomes sexy. I often see middle aged men don suits, hats, expensive cologne for light night out with a date and perhaps a guy's night out. I'm badly explaining this but I can see in these men a confidence coming NOT from how much money they have but a simple appreciation of WHAT they have. That one colgne they've worn for 20 years, the $150 hat they only wear "out and about", the leather coat a wife/girlfriend got them because it made them look hot. I guess there's just a general ease about men at this age because the gray is out and like the 60 yr old woman, men realize a decade early that simply...I am who I am!
Men-60's
I would say that this is the decade where men start to see the radical diet changes (that actually make sense primarily due to the onset of some medical conditions---high blood pressure, diabetes, etc.), they begin to appreciate small things like their morning coffee or their favorite sports team's latest ups and downs. I think their changing health and the feeling of sometimes being unable to control it, may scare men. Which makes them hold on to the things they love the most. Again a joy in the simple things. But they also start to take a deeper interest in children/grandchildren.
So where the hell am I going in all of this? Stay tuned lol....
